The only reason it stayed cold the whole time is that both sides had nukes. Even the most adamant of chicken hawks hesitated to pull the trigger with the consequence of the world becoming uninhabitable hanging over our heads.

Every accusation a confession; no exceptions.

He’s just there to steal credit. Just like everything he’s been a part of.

I mean, is it necessary to have a destination? Just get them going and let them sort it out from there.

It’s low as a percentage of total packages, but some areas are worse than others. For instance, in San Francisco it’s necessary to leave the trunk of your car open overnight so professional thieves don’t break your window to check it.

Most of what they deliver isn’t worth stealing. If they continue trying to take over the high end courier business, though, I doubt they’ll last long.

There are a small subset there that are pathologically obsessed with the freshness of the fish they eat. Getting parasites from barely prepped sushi is not uncommon.

Even in the movie they weren’t technically aliens. It was just ancient sapient black goo that was here long before we evolved.

Technically, it would be battery.

I imagine one of them going home, getting a side eye and trying to claim “no, I was at a strip club, honest.”

Taco is also fantasy sports slang for a random idiot that never seems to get punished for their awful decisions. From a character on The League.

Because they’re using an inherently insecure delivery service for expensive electronics. Extremely clear case of negligence.

If you don’t have a Micro Center nearby there’s really not a good choice. Just do Newegg or Amazon and hope for the best.

The cops definitely won’t do anything, but the paperwork can be useful if Best Buy decides to be worse than usual about it.

Tipping used to be discouraged in the US since it promoted class divisions. Then the civil war happened and there weren’t any slaves anymore and all of a sudden tipping is the greatest thing ever.

You used to be able to require a signature which would force a direct hand-off, but people got annoyed with it. Then drivers started skipping those deliveries to get through their shift faster. So now only expensive courier services and the postal service still really do it.

In both Afghanistan and Vietnam they didn’t want to occupy them forever. I’m pretty sure that won’t be an issue here.

Any Democrat that runs will campaign on “Actually I always supported the wall and I’m upset he didn’t build it fast enough”.

Maybe they should try not being an idiot.

Standing next to a windowless van in nondescript clothes and a mask.

Sorry, buddy. Putin won’t be getting his color revolution.